Kind > Nice

You've been there before.  

That situation you felt pressure to "be nice" to someone, when inside you felt the strain of disconnection, pressure or even disrespect to adjust yourself slightly to maintain a certain image, perception or perceived connection or sense of belonging. Maybe it was at work, at church, or with your friends.

In that instant, you betrayed yourself and your intuition in favor of being nice rather than addressing the truth of the matter.  

If we are being honest, we can admit we have all been there. It's part of the human experience of navigating our need to belong with the need for individuality and self expression.

What else could you do?

Aim to be kind rather than nice.

Being nice involves a level of "agreeableness" that can be misunderstood as agreement or compliance and risks self-betrayal in order to seek or maintain approval from others.

Being kind includes compassion for all parties that allows the underlying truth to be heard and explored without fawning to external expectations or shrinking yourself.

You can be firm, clear and direct when being kind which will help you stay in your own integrity, while being nice often requires you to "turn yourself down a notch" as not to offend.

Ultimately, offending someone isn't the worst thing that can happen! It is a gift that illuminates connection (or disconnection) of our core principles, values and identity which being kind amplifies, while being nice diminishes.

Is it possible you are considered a "hard ass", "strict" or other seemingly negative adjectives? Yes, that's possible. And the beauty is that you will have the strength to stand in it because you are not reacting out of ego, but responding from virtue and principle of your own self-leadership.

In a world full of people abandoning their own integrity to be nice, try being kind.